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Social Confidence

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To make new friends on text, send messages quickly...


When you're texting someone and you text back straight away, they'll normally text back within about 10 seconds


If you can 'rally' the conversation (you know in tennis where you have a 'rally'? Like when you go back and forth)


Here's the key insight:


When we respond quickly it can make what we say seem authentic because if it's quick it's usually truthful, but in order to lie, the brain needs to figure out a few chess moves. Soneobe who's not being true to themselves usually wait to think "how should I respond to this"...


Like in text conversations with romantic interests - if you're sat there trying to think of what to say, that is very weird. Like, that's not you who's responding- that who you think she wants to talk to. By not being yourself, you're literally telling her / him that you don't think you're a good catch for them.


This post is inspired by a 2 minute conversation I had with a guy on WhatsApp who I've never texted before. By just flinging whatever came to my mind at him we were able to quickly build rapport.


'Rallies' as I'll call them, are also a good way to build rapport because you ca get away with saying more risqué stuff, and therefore breaking the ice. The pressure to respond that we all feel when we get a text can be used to have a hilarious conversation- every conversation has a rhythm and a tempo, and if you say something unexpected while going at a fast tempo with an even rhythm, you'll make them laugh hard.


So this is an efficient way to build rapport.


But also, you're more likely to get truthful answers to questions when you're in a 'rally', because if you've been going back and forth with someone for the last couple of minutes and then suddenly one question makes them stop. That can ring alarm bells. By asking the right question at the right moment, you can catch them in a lie.


So try this with your friends, and see what ridiculously funny and ice-breaking conversations you'll have. You may break some ice that you didn't know was there,


David

David Reynolds
David Reynolds
04. Sept. 2023

I’d just like to add that on this platform we often have deeper, intellectual conversations, so this ‘rallying’ doesn’t really happen in the groups. I really like that- it’s like there’s a deep respect for the topics and an acknowledgement that the topics can be confusing, so crafting our public messages is necessary.


However, in the private messaging, I’d love it if people tried to apply this post. Have fun, people! ✌🏼


David

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